Today I spent a few quiet hours with my 8-year old son in the water, marveling at how comfortable and playful he was.  His sense of peace, of pace, of not needing, brought tranquility to this churning mom-heart.  That so-busy-with-interventions heart, that is supposed to be balanced between two opposite worlds:  One half doing everything I can to help him and the other half accepting him just as he is, in the moment.

I fall short often of that second nirvana—that half of my heart at peace with him as he is in his own skin, becoming John.

He is not always this calm, quiet, full of simple joy.  Is it  because I am chasing something I shouldn’t?

How do we teach our struggling children to be at peace within themselves?  To find and hold that inner harmony, to be at equilibrium enough when that social snub comes.  To not grieve for that party invitation undelivered?  To not need, to not be needy?

Peaceful in their own skin.

For John, it would, of course, start with me.

What kind of example do I provide?   What did I miss?

Sometimes I am Mary when I should be Martha.

Sometimes, the opposite.

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
― Robert Fulghum (“Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten”)

Peace be with us,

Gayle