If I were going to give John every opportunity to exercise his own decision-making,

to cultivate his intrinsic motivation

(when he is motivated from within himself, not because I bribe or coerce him),

how might that look (for example, on vacation)?

How about this:  him on the inside, me on the outside.

And I say, “Come out when you are ready.”

It worked.

And, funny thing, it has started a habit now for him that he elects a time-out,

a time to self-calm.

In the bathroom.

And he is now locking the door.

Good or bad, most of our biggest adventures involve bathrooms.

Maybe this will be useful to you.

Peace be with us.

Gayle