I have been trained not to let John get away with anything.

Trained to create, communicate and hold firm, loving boundaries.

With great humor (as often as I can remember to step away before I lose my sense of humor).

Sometimes, when he is with his dad, those boundaries smudge a little.

Or a lot.

So, Dad and Mom (or whoever is helping to co-parent) have to share our mutual rules and expectations when everyone is in a calm, teachable state.

Especially if our parenting styles clash.

Before John the Clever Manipulator gets a bright idea to widen that space between Dad and Mom.

(As I have said before, be glad your child is trying to manipulate you. Manipulation is a cognitive, thinking function.

They just don’t get to get away with it.

We have co-parented oppositely for a long time.

But we know we have to set our differences aside, to make the best of it, for John’s benefit.

So it’s a good thing that people are surprised to learn that we have been divorced for years.

I have learned as a recovering co-dependent what not to do.

It mostly involves zipping it,

walking away when it isn’t my time to co-parent,

and being grateful (silently, inside my head) when John tries to work the system.

As the old song goes, “you got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away.”

Peace be with us,

Gayle