I re-learn every day that I can’t make anyone do anything they aren’t motivated to do.

Never mind whatever vision of success I had in mind for them.

If they want something, they will make the effort.

Or they won’t.

I can help provide the opportunity to earn that feeling of accomplishment.

And then, they have to do for themselves.

His effort must come before his success.

Or he won’t respect his success and accomplishment.

It won’t be dear to him.

So, I asked John what did he want……

……in his suitcase?

(You realize any activity could be inserted here, right?)

I flopped the suitcase open on the floor, and asked him to put in the stuff he wanted.

He gets to haul that suitcase on, off, in and out when he travels.

The suitcase is just a silly example of a powerful concept:

A huge component of John’s successful launch into independence will be when he feels the natural consequences of each decision.

Tough love.

So very hard for parents who love so dearly.

John gains nothing when I hand everything to him.

I would then be robbing him of any reason to do anything.

So try this with your child, and you may see a great pride in accomplishment.

When he is ready to try.

Or it won’t happen yet.

And I must wait until he is ready to try.

It can’t be my agenda.

Peace be with us,

Gayle