It’s been a rough weekend of parenting.

My son John has tested every boundary with me these last few days.

One morning, he kept banging on the drums instead of anything I was asking him to do, tauntingly, purposefully, when I finally said “I’ll be waiting in the car”.

#MomCapitulation.

I gave up on redirecting, and just got out the door with whatever was left of my dignity.

Nothing I was doing or saying was moving him toward out-the-door-on-time.

He soon sauntered out the front door, still in his pajamas, playing with our gigantic colorful umbrella. Like a new toy.

I started to back the car down the driveway.

He got the message, I guess, and went back inside.

All of this with a big smirk on his face.

About 5 minutes later, he came out dressed. At least, as far as I could tell.

He seemed very proud of himself with that umbrella. A new skill due to all the rain we’ve had lately.

He (finally) climbed in the car and said “I guess we’re last kid today.”

Yup.

Please know we’ve been backward chaining and rehearsing and practicing these skills for years.

The better I back off, the better he comes forward.

The more time I allow for this “game”, the better things work.

The best two things I do is #MomZipIt and remember that the snooze alarm is not my friend.

I can control when I start the morning, and that influences his progress.

But I cannot control his choices. I can only do the best to set the environment for his success.

Then stand down and let him face the consequences of his choices.

We’ve tried to grow his social awareness of his neurotypical peers.

They have become increasingly important to him.

He cares now whether he is First Kid, Middle Kid or Last Kid to arrive.

I guess he cares, because he talks about that each time we arrive.

If our kids lack clear expressive language sentences telling us what they are thinking, we have to do our best guessing with the clues we do get.

Peace be with us,

Gayle