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	<title>If We Learn DifferentlyChores &#8211; Because I Choose To &#8211; If We Learn Differently</title>
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	<title>Chores &#8211; Because I Choose To &#8211; If We Learn Differently</title>
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		<title>Chores &#8211; Because I Choose To</title>
		<link>https://ifwelearndifferently.com/chores-because-i-choose-to/</link>
		<comments>https://ifwelearndifferently.com/chores-because-i-choose-to/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 May 2017 14:39:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed.,Ed.Tech.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Behavior Interventions Based on Intrinsic Motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Child]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chores]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[differences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dishwasher]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intervention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intrinsic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neg]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prompt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ifwelearndifferently.com/?p=1766</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[Self Esteem Can Be Intrinsically Motivated. Some days you get to see a miracle when you least expect it. It was a rough getting-ready-for-school morning. With no tampering from Mom, in the spark of a moment of intrinsic decision making, John scampered over to the partially-opened dishwasher and started doing his chores. The clean silverware matched into the cutlery drawer. (That [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em id="gnt_postsubtitle" style="color:#666666;font-family:'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:1.3em;line-height:1.2em;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;">Self Esteem Can Be Intrinsically Motivated</em></p> <p><img data-recalc-dims="1" fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-1769" src="https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.comwp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher-529x1024.jpg?resize=317%2C614&#038;ssl=1" alt="" width="317" height="614" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=529%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 529w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=142%2C274&amp;ssl=1 142w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=155%2C300&amp;ssl=1 155w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=768%2C1487&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=760%2C1472&amp;ssl=1 760w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=207%2C400&amp;ssl=1 207w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=82%2C159&amp;ssl=1 82w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?resize=600%2C1162&amp;ssl=1 600w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher.jpg?w=1320&amp;ssl=1 1320w" sizes="(max-width: 317px) 100vw, 317px" /> <img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-1770" src="https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.comwp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1-677x1024.jpg?resize=406%2C614&#038;ssl=1" alt="" width="406" height="614" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=677%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 677w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=181%2C274&amp;ssl=1 181w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=198%2C300&amp;ssl=1 198w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=768%2C1161&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=760%2C1149&amp;ssl=1 760w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=265%2C400&amp;ssl=1 265w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=82%2C124&amp;ssl=1 82w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?resize=600%2C907&amp;ssl=1 600w, https://i0.wp.com/ifwelearndifferently.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Dishwasher1.jpg?w=1508&amp;ssl=1 1508w" sizes="(max-width: 406px) 100vw, 406px" /> Some days you get to see a miracle when you least expect it.</p>
<p>It was a rough getting-ready-for-school morning.</p>
<p>With no tampering from Mom, in the spark of a moment of intrinsic decision making,</p>
<p>John scampered over to the partially-opened dishwasher and started doing his chores.</p>
<p>The clean silverware matched into the cutlery drawer.</p>
<p>(That drawer is a mess of plastic and metal, and we do our best to keep it organized.</p>
<p>John has been trained to &#8220;match&#8221; stuff, to put the spoons with the spoons, etc.)</p>
<p>I knew enough to keep my big fat mom mouth shut.  I just stood there watching.</p>
<p>John very soon looked up at me with the biggest grin on his face.</p>
<p>He was proud of his actions, proud he had thought of it.</p>
<p>NOT because Mom had nagged or prompted.</p>
<p>This is the magic, secret sauce of what we seek for our young people,</p>
<p>that they make the best decisions they can because they choose to.</p>
<p>So please, dear fellow parents, keep giving them boundaries.</p>
<p>And you MUST hold those boundaries, without war.</p>
<p>I smile, zip it, and turn my attention somewhere (anywhere) else when he attempts re-negotiation.</p>
<p>Absolutely sure this can work in your home.</p>
<p>Peace be with us,</p>
<p>Gayle</p>

                
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                <img alt='Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed.,Ed.Tech.' src='https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/9ef11d916d3ffbd5496659d28dcd08e1f5000bbdb44b6d0f924a5e49bba790d5?s=80&#038;d=mm&#038;r=g' srcset='https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/9ef11d916d3ffbd5496659d28dcd08e1f5000bbdb44b6d0f924a5e49bba790d5?s=160&#038;d=mm&#038;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-80 photo' height='80' width='80' />                                                                                                                                                                                                            </div>
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                                                                                                                                                    <p>Mom. Educator.  Advocate.  Ally.  Consultant.  Activist.  Team Builder.</p>
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