Explicit instruction, via daily home practice. Family Literacy Network, once a week.

Components of explicit instruction in literacy, tools from Family Literacy Network. We do this daily at home. Not John’s favorite thing, but he now smiles when reading.

Even with his diagnosis, from the early days, we really tried reading together.

He seldom behaved like he liked to read, but we did it anyway.

Then there was kindergarten with 1-word flash cards.

I thought John could read words.

I wasn’t worried about dyslexia because John knew “b” from a “d”,

“q” from a “p”.

Language processing was a worry.  But specifically dyslexia wasn’t on my radar.

All things considered, I thought he was reading OK.

But, his fine motor function made handwriting a challenge,

and he has always struggled with math.

With his diagnosis of autism,

I had been busy with methylation, nutrition, sensory integration, motivation, social learning, ARDs/IEPs and behaviors.

I wasn’t thinking of academic diagnoses.

That’s a whole new vocabulary.

Academically, I had a false sense of well-being.

He was faking it pretty well, using a lot of little tricks.

Balancing, Interactive Metronome. Bi-Lateral (arms & legs doing different movements) integration.

Soon the words “dyslexia“, “dysgraphia” & “dyscalculia” entered our lives.

And we discovered he couldn’t retell the story.

Now what do we do?

Over the years, we have done a lot of home-based literacy (word-building, phonics) interventions:

• Watch movies with the captions on
• Watch movies of books we have read together
• Read books of movies we have watched together
• Our daily “list” of things to do, which we write together, read together, and mark off
• Play reading games with road signs while driving

There were moments of joy, when I forgot to worry.

Surprisingly, John could read the cursive thank-you-notes he got from his teachers.

But John gets older, the academic components have become more complex, more urgent.

John really couldn’t sound out words.   Couldn’t retell the story.

I had to learn all I could about executive function, word building, working memory, literacy and critical thinking.

(Oh great . . . . . more interventions.)

Therapeutic Listening:  A learning intervention we have been using for years is therapeutic listening.

John would be in the car or on couch listening, processing whatever he was hearing.

Mostly calm, with occasional moments of alarm and avoidance/escape, as predicted by Rosemary.

Standing, Interactive Metronome, at Ability and Beyond OT. Working on all the pieces leading to sensory integration and executive function. John’s reflexes are retained and need help to become integrated and more sophisticated.

He wears the high-quality Sonnheisen HD 500A headphones & microchip player.

No electronics during the twice daily 30-minute sessions.

Calendar Awareness:  Funny thing, we struggle with hours and minutes,

yet he always knows the day of the week and the number day of the month.

I ask him when I need to know what the date is.

And he amazes me on his sometimes-perfect calendar memory of past events.

Executive Function & Whole Child Learning Interventions: 

John has moved from elementary to middle school.

We moved from conventional occupational therapy (OT) in a purely-clinical hospital setting to

Fast ForWord, (Vestibular) Astronaut Training, Interactive Metronome and much more

at occupational therapy via Ability and Beyond, in a quasi-clinical setting

(they have chickens).

All working toward better executive function, sensory integration, vision learning, auditory processing, impulse control and word building.

Explicit Instruction via Family Literacy Network:

We’re making progress in John’s phonetic awareness and word building.

John feels this achievement.

Explicit instruction.

Daily.

Leaving nothing to chance, research-based.

Oftentimes tedious,

Prone, Interactive Metronome, at OT with Ability and Beyond.

but building neural pathways purposefully isn’t easy, or it would already have been done.

Plus, John’s really enjoying their treasure box now.

(For years, treasure boxes have been like ice cream cones—–kid hell for us.)

Recently, he voluntarily indulged in 45+ minutes of highly-motivated reading.

I personally vouch for Dr. Eldo Bergman, M.D. and his team at Family Literacy Network. 

They can also accommodate out-of-town families.

We have also done Vision Therapy for years.

I learned recently of Magno-Cellular and Parvo-Cellular neural pathways (thanks, Dr. Davis), scanning and pursuits.

• More info at COVD.net.
• Check out syntonics:  CollegeofSyntonicOptometry.com

Published research links:

• Understanding the Visual Symptoms of Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
• Unilateral Neglect
• Types of Eye Movements and Their Functions

Additional literacy interventions (some we have yet to do) include:

Scientific Spelling at home

• Neuhaus training, and specifically Scientific Spelling
• Graphemes, Phonemes and Phonics (not as complicated at they sound, but you do have to do your homework into word building)
• Orton-Gillingham (the gold standard for best practices)
• LLI (what he gets at public school)
• CogMed (we haven’t started this yet)
• Reading Recovery (originated in New Zealand)
• Reading Doctor computer apps (recommended to us)

I realize this is a lot to digest.

I am building a 2-hour workshop:

“Help! My Kid Hates to Read!  What Can I Do About That?”

Want to join?

The great news:

We are making progress, and John knows it.

I can tell by his face.

Let’s work on this together.

Peace be with us,

Gayle

John’s sensory integration out to his fingertips has been an on-going challenge.

It isn’t his fault or his choice.   Alma L., O.T.R., told me long ago that it’s the brain/nerve system (neurology) unique wiring that he was born with.

And apparently, this hasn’t changed.

His continues to be lax, loose, and stretched out.

Compared to typical neural wiring.

And to use those fingertips, to continue to build and keep strength in all those joints,

John must continue the movements we learn in therapies and in life.

Because if his growing muscle strength diminishes, so will his fine motor ability.

Here is a photo of his fingertips.

He had to work harder to get this configuration than I do.

John’s joints (all of them) are more stretched out.

All the time.

And his motor planning decisions are often lagging.

You can see that in how he moves, reacts, and handles stuff.

Getting things in and out of suitcases, backpacks and other containers is often SLOW business.

And Mom just better wait patiently and keep her big mouth shut.

And so, he has to work far harder than I do to make his fingertips work.

To hold a pencil.  Zip a zipper.  Button a button.  Play a piano.

Manipulate taekwondo weapons. Figure out how to carry stuff.

Anything fine motor.

And he will probably always have to work harder than typical.

But he can.

If he wants to, right?

And for the rest of his life.

So we continue to practice anything requiring fingertips and motor planning.

We continue with mid-line crossover, quantum reflex integration (QRI), and all things methylation.

We continue to build neural pathways, but the physicality may remain what it is.

Peace be with us,

Gayle

The kids at John’s school use the tennis ball like a hand ball.

At recess, throwing it against the brick walls of the building.

So, because of neuro-typical peer modeling,

my son is constantly playing with a tennis ball he found in the house.

And I have started buying tennis balls because, well, they get lost, right?

It seems to be the preferred toy of the realm right now.

And it’s free therapy.

In fact, best practices, I truly believe.

Improving reflexes, hand-to-eye coordination, mid-line crossover and social skills.

I watched them at lunch/recess recently.

The kids play in small groups, the balls fly back and forth.

Same story when John gets home.

He throws it against the large expanse of window-less brick wall alongside our driveway.

Remember the 1994 movie, “The Hudsucker Proxy”.  Paul Newman, Tim Robbins.

The circle was featured a lot:  Frisbee, Hula Hoop and other toy inventions.

So, here is yet another time when the oldies but goodies bring free therapy to our kids.

Give the kids something round, and see what happens.

Peace be with us,

Gayle

PT (Physical Therapy) and OT (Occupational Therapy) opportunities are everywhere (free of charge).

Not just in a clinical setting.

Bi-Lateral means the arms and legs are working on different movements.

Mid-line crossover at the waist, top half

So when John chooses to take his vitamins on our walk to the bus stop,

he is walking (fast!), holding a cup of vitamins in one hand,

shoving them into his mouth with the other

and bending over to get to the water I am holding off to the side (and weaving around).

Crossing mid-line in every opportunity,

on the move.

There is also the added adrenaline of precious time passing.

Not to miss the bus.

Then the tooth brush, and he works on that as we trot along.

Once my duty is completed, I know it’s time to back off.

I give him a quick hug and tell him I love him forever.

He nods.

His little smile, sparkle in his eyes, and he walks on alone.

Toward the kids he is intrinsically motivated to match.

Time for Mom to turn away also, letting him walk toward his uncertain independence.

But it’s that way with all our kids:  How do we nail down their best futures?

Only by letting them try, try again, fail and try again.

The joy of risk-taking.

Mid-line crossover, bottom half

(Be sure to practice each piece first, backward chain, and encourage it’s OK to fail!)

Peace be with us, and be brave!

Gayle

P.S.  Just for the record, this is what clinical bi-lateral therapy can look like.

Here John is using Interactive Metronome, with his hands and feet doing different movements.

There are many other examples, and this is what we are doing now in a clinical setting.

Interactive Metronome. Legs balancing. Arms & hands clapping.

Toys, movies, games:

We are late to the party.

“Pervasive Developmental Delay”.

That’s when your kid doesn’t keep up with other kids,

when your kid doesn’t care about things when peers do.

The good news is they can keep moving forward, at their own pace.

With interventions.

So we all hope for and work toward:  not “never”, but “eventually”.

John has renewed interest in and growing love for Sheriff Woody and Buzz Lightyear.

John spent $20 of his chore money on a new Sheriff Woody at the Disney store.

The old Woody’s expressive language was broken, and John wanted those sentences.

So we started planning a purchase.

We counted out the tangible paper money from his wallet (he carried in his pocket).

He carried out the bag from the Disney store.

Everything 3-dimensional.  Real.  Analog.

A real shopping neural pathway.

He helped me with replacing batteries, so Buzz had sentences again.

Recently, for the first time, he actually picked up and played with a Brain Quest deck.

Developmental delays don’t mean “never”.  They just mean “later”.  “Sometime”.   “Not now”.

John wanted hair gel.   An age-appropriate interest, right?

He wants a phone because the other kids have one.

We were with friends at a restaurant, and the boys all were playing with portable devices.

He wanted to match the kids.

I can’t fault him for that.

I did make him give me the complete sentence, to request my phone.

His face lit up like sunshine when he had what the other boys had.

He knew he fit in.

Our kids of delays are aware.

He knows when he doesn’t match peers.

And he surely showed the joy he felt the very second he knew he did match peers.

We see this with percussion binders and drumstick bags.

So I keep piles (“centers”) of toys around, with the every-single-day hope he will pick up something and play with it.

Peers who come over to our house are priceless.

They show him how to play.

(“oh, so that is how you play with that toy…..!”)

Cuddling:

Weekend mornings, a little more time for reading together, so we start the day with some forced cuddling.

I tell him we are practicing for when he is a man, and may be glad  he can.

He does flail around some, which just adds 5 more minutes to the intervention.

We also practice forced cuddling/hugging during movies on the sofa.

I usually have to sort of sit on him, and then he shifts to a more comfortable position.

He gets the idea, and usually warms to it.

I always try to make this physical connection with him during the final cliffhanger in any movie.

(and be sure to turn on captions!)

Peace be with us,

Gayle

My son used to keep all his words inside his head.

Now he is sharing those sentences out loud.

Sometimes in anger.

Sometimes in mischief.

And with good words comes bad words.

Impulse control is still something we are learning,

and developmental delays live with us every day.

The consequences get more profound with each day.

(If a child is working through developmental delays, becoming more aware of the world, more self-aware, and gaining expressive language, there is more of the world that intrudes into their decision-making process.)

John LOVES this movie.  This movie is a gift of concrete depiction of a child’s processing joy, fear, happiness, worry, peer pressure, frustration, motivation (intrinsic and extrinsic) and navigating socialization.

Kids with developmental delays may still need “concrete” learning tools longer than their peers.

So we use this gift to help John learn to process and practice decision making—the best decision making possible—for the best possible independent adult life.

Of course, he LOVES to push Mom’s buttons.

Sound familiar?

So, as a cinematic gift of the universe to our homes, may I re-introduce Ralphie.

Oh yes, Ralphie and his decisions.  Good and bad.

Except we used soap made from essential oils.

And I used the words straight from the movie.

John thought it was funny.

Until the flavor hit his taste buds.

And that consequence really really struck home and built a good strong neural pathway.

Because there was one day when no re-direct was working.

When even my best DefCon 5 re-directs had no effect.

John was persisting in saying “s**t” for the game of it, and no amount of “say shoot or dang instead” was working.

All that was left was “hard way”, and “hard way always hurts”.

And thus we used Ralphie.

Since then, I heard from one of his teachers that someone had said “crap” in class recently—and that John “was not having it.” 

He had then said, “don’t say that” with a giggle.

Mom is thankful for that knowledge of right and wrong,

given that he seems to take great delight in saying the wrong words around me.

Learning to lock and unlock the door purposefully

With a very large grin on his face.

Testing our boundaries.

We have had many conversations about what words are OK to say.

We use the Lord Valdemort technique:  We don’t say (the bad words’) names.

Why would we want to build any neural pathways toward choosing harmful words?

So we re-direct over and over back to the socially-acceptable words.

And, of course, he also tries to get the wrong kind of attention from me by

stringing out that “fffffffffff…….” line from the movie.

I ignore that, and re-direct him to something else.

(I remove the audience.  No audience, no reason for the performance.)

I haven’t asked him if he knows what that fffffffff……… means.

Another day, maybe.

Maybe not.

And, as the days have gone by, he now will remind others when they say a bad word:

“Don’t say that word, that could get you into a lot of trouble”,

(I am happy to report that admonition sure sounds like it came from Mom programming.)

What about the life lessons from Home Alone #1 and Home Alone#2?

Conversations and teachable moments on both sides of Kevin’s decisions.

We don’t waste those opportunities.

Practice, re-direct, take something away, consequences.

We are building social habits for his lifetime.

You know in your own lives, right?  When you aren’t here anymore.

What do you use for top reinforcers?

Moving on from the movies, here’s another way re-directs work at our house.

(Now that we have built it together by practice and backward chaining.)

Getting out of the house on time.

“I’ll meet you in the car.”

I used to have to go back and lock the door after we met in the car.

Now he locks the door on his way out.

We back-ward chained that also.

Self-Control and Zero Tolerance for Hitting

To spank or not.

I make no judgements on others.

I am speaking only for my experience with John.

$80 on eBay. Hung from a professionally-installed hook into the ceiling joist.

Big mistake me spanking him.

It always escalates our mutual use of force.

And my shame is that I have been at this crossroad before.

And promised myself I have to find better ways of managing nuclear war.

I have apologized to John, and we have promised no more whacking.

Not me on him, or he on the dog or on me.

We also re-direct and re-channel motivation by our top reinforcers.

For example:  taekwondo stripes.

And for self-soothing, the eBay sling-swing you see in this photo is highly effective.

Especially in the night-time process.

John puts himself in and out of it.

Again, we are building habits of self-regulation and self-control for his best possible adult life.

Peace be with us,

Gayle

We have used games as re-directs when frustration was high.

You wouldn’t think so, but I’ve seen proof.

A joyful, no-cost, and mainstream intervention that combines:

Expressive speech,

Reading,

The power of music lighting up so much of the brain,

Social settings with other people,

Eye contact with the crowd,

Happiness,

(and some 2017 research behind a happiness study).

Oh, John’s eyes were so shiny when he watched his very first karaoke song.

Sweet Caroline had everyone in the room chiming in.

Because Sweet Caroline (thank you, all the Neil Diamonds of the world) was in his 4th grade play,

and all the kids performed it.

(So he had prior knowledge and social joy already connected to that neural pathway, and that lit up his eyes!)

Recently, we took some kids to Friday night karaoke at our local Mexican food restaurant.

They loved it.

They monopolized the microphone.

(Please know the majority of this batch of kids have some version of neural-diverse sensory and learning issues.)

So, what if our kids of learning differences were tired of being sequestered?

What if they truly desired real life?

John proves this time after time, in many activities.

And specifically, in music also.

He loves Mixed Choir in intermediate school.

First day back after Thanksgiving week off, with jet lag:

No problem getting out of the house early this morning.

He said he “didn’t want to be the last kid to Choir” practice before school.

So, maybe this gives you some ideas for your home:   What intrinsically motivates our children?

Do we waste that?

Peace be with us,

Gayle

(thanks to PowerPoint Clip Art for the graphic.)

Understanding the Trigeminal Nerve system (Wikipedia) helps to explain sensory battlefields in our children.

Especially when you realize how much sensory activity there is in the neck and above.

Another link to help you understand the body’s wiring.

Until this nerve system is “integrated”, your child will have issues of oral defensiveness.

Building new, stronger neural pathways is the only path to success.

So, expect greater adventures in hair cuts, brushing teeth (flossing—ha!), dental checkups, and eating a variety of foods.

How can you help your child make progress?

Here are some of the ways we are building this sensory peace.

Haircuts:  Does your child hate hair cuts?

For years, I have wrestled John during haircuts, trying any tool and distraction.

It was always never fun.

Then one day, I was forced to take John into the hair salon with me.

He watched what was happening to me.  When I asked him if he “wanted to try this?“, he said “yes”.

Here are two photos of that unexpected gift from the angels (Ms. Monica and Ms. Dell).

Now, he gets to choose a store-bought hair cut or one at home.

Either way, he looks less shaggy.

Loud Noises:  Your child can learn to accept noise terror:

Before.

After.

Dental Checkups (this link to growing natural curiosity in the face of sensory overload):

In the blurry photo of John in the blue shirt, you can see what our current pediatric dentistry practice uses:

Sunglasses, headphones, slow and easy approach.

John still comes out of his skin, nearly.

But at least we aren’t holding him down.

I helped hold him down once, age 3, and it took several of us.

We don’t go to that dentistry practice anymore.

Brushing Teeth:   The motor planning can be also be a challenge.

Sometimes it’s a battle to even hold still long enough to check his work.

Or to help him get them brushed when you are running out of time.

Birthday Candles:   Help your child with breath control, learning how to enjoy a birthday cake.

Breathing In and Out:   This process happens automatically when he isn’t aware.

But ask him to do it purposely, and he couldn’t.

Until we trained for it.

Swallowing Pills:  Starting small.

Working bigger.

New Foods:  Here is John’s first voluntary spoon of oatmeal.

He now really likes it.

But, I made him put it in his mouth for the first few bites.

Of course, he didn’t want to.  So, “we’ll just stand here until you do it.”

Maybe these ideas can help in your house.

Peace be with us,

Gayle

Does your child understand the passing of time?

What it means to meet a deadline?

I am not so sure John does truly understand time,

but he sure is motivated when I say, “I hope we don’t miss the bus!”

So we are working on comprehending time in several ways.

When I communicate “4 minutes” (holding up 4 fingers), he knows that is 4 real minutes before something is going to change.

Same story for 7 or any other number.  Real clock minutes.

We also compare phone or clock time (both analog and digital) to the computer clock time.

(Look in the bottom right corner of the computer screen—-kids see it constantly.)

In the morning, we set an alarm for “time-to-stop-breakfast-and-get-ready-to-go”.

Another concept to master:  how about time to listen v. keep talking?

So, when it is appropriate, I say, “My turn!”, and make John be silent.

Sometimes, I take my sweet time before I use my turn.

Everything is about creating self-control.

He likes to say, “I have an announcement!”, but not always at appropriate times.

Like if we are trying to get out the door on time, and his need to proclaim is more a stim (perseveration) than a real-time shared communication.

I tell him we get our work done first, then announcements.

Something to engage in as we walk to the bus, or drive away in the car onto the next adventure.

There is another thing John stalls on:  eating his breakfast and taking his vitamins.

Granted, there are a lot of vitamins to swallow, and some taste icky (my opinion).

Any of you doing bio-med nutritional (methylation) interventions know about this.

Nonetheless, John’s methylation is working.

His immune system is a huge battlefield, and we are absolutely going in the right direction.

This morning, on our walk to the bus stop, he got to finish something he hadn’t started yet.

Breakfast.

Vitamins.

This morning was all about lollygagging (including his too-loud-voice), testing Mom’s boundaries.

I have learned to remove the audience whenever possible.

So, the breakfast-is-over alarm went off, and we walked out the door to the bus stop.

Yes, I am carrying breakfast and vitamins and a cup.

And, yes, he gets to chew and swallow as we walk.

And he is always proud of himself when it’s over.

I really try not to nag—-to say instead, “be proud of yourself”.

And he is.

I hope this helps in your house.

Peace be with us,

Gayle

Impulse control is a daily challenge for my child, with two different arenas of performance.

Public.  Private.

Sounds familiar?

In public, at taekwondo, John is sensory-averse.

He is very hesitant to strike (“tag”) another child during sparring or in the self-defense hands-on practice.

However, at home, he can become sensory-seeking, usually as a consequence of frustration.

Now we have opportunity for teachable moments.

(I say) “If you want to spar, you have to tell me”.

We then go through the purposeful ceremony to begin official sparring.

We practice the hand and foot movements, always seeking faster, faster, faster.

On the other hand, sometimes he is just frustrated.

And now we are working on his own use of re-directs for impulse control.

Can he know the difference, and can he also use his skills?

We keep the boundaries of “no hitting”.  Zero tolerance for that (link).

I say, “It’s OK to be angry.  You get to do that in the bathroom, so give yourself a time out.” (link)

And he knows (because we have practiced it over and over), that he can come out when (and only then) he chooses to be ready.

Sometimes we go in and out of the bathroom for a while.

That happens.

But he knows there is no point in trying to renegotiate.

Sometimes my teenager is in the room, and has actually said (more than once), “do you think the answer is going to change, John?”

We talk about why his self-regulation and his self-control is so very vital for his future.

May this help in your house.

Peace be with us,

Gayle